A big hello from Raleigh, North Carolina. In this episode of B2B Marketing and More, I want to address an important question – how to overcome imposter syndrome.
Growing up, I always wanted to be someone else. It took me a long time to overcome my imposter syndrome. Now I want to share with you what I did so that you can be your unique self with complete confidence.
In this episode:
- Why you shouldn’t believe everything you see on social media
- How to learn to love yourself
- How to earn your confidence
- Why you should never stop learning
Quotes from the episode:
“You can be self-critical but never be self-loathing. Be aware of your strengths as well as areas for improvement.”
“I’ve realized that to overcome imposter syndrome you need to be confident. Confidence, in general, doesn’t come naturally to most of us. You need to earn it. One way to gain confidence is to be very, very good at something that people will ask you for advice about.”
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To expand your knowledge on how to overcome imposter syndrome, check out some of my previous podcast episodes, blog posts, and video.
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A big hello from Raleigh, North Carolina. For this episode, I want to address an important question, but one that is not widely discussed. That is how to overcome Imposter Syndrome.
How often have we wished that we were someone else because their lives seem so much better than ours? Growing up, I always wanted to be someone else. It took me a long time. I mean, it takes a long time to overcome Imposter Syndrome. So now I want to share with you what I did so that you can be your unique self with complete confidence.
Here are several things I’ve done to overcome those intrusive thoughts and negative feelings.
1. Don’t believe everything you see on social media.
Honestly, social media has exacerbated Imposter Syndrome for everyone. Everyone’s life seems perfect on social media, and their accomplishments appear larger than life. I want to tell you to take what you see on social media with a grain of salt. Don’t get too caught up in someone else’s photos and their happy lives. Remember that a photo or a video conveys one moment at a time.
No, one’s life is perfect every minute, every day. Someone may show off great travel photos, but you don’t know if they charge a credit card or take on debt to pay for these trips. Some may post scenes of a great time partying on the weekends. Great! But you don’t know what their other days are like.
If people are happy on social media, be pleased for them. But remember that you don’t know what their real lives are like. They have daily struggles, just like every one of us. There’s a statement I have seen many, many times on Facebook: “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t even like.” So true. That pretty much sums up what social media is all about. Once you see that, the feeling of keeping up with the Jones will recede a bit.
2. Learn to love yourself. (I mean, really love yourself!)
You can be self-critical but never be self-loathing. Be aware of your strengths as well as areas for improvement.
Pat yourself on the back when you accomplish something, but don’t be yourself up when you make a mistake; acknowledge mistakes and do better next time, head up, and walk like a winner. Or like what the Marvelous Mrs Maisel says, “Tits up!” I cannot believe I said that!
It took me a long time to like myself, a long time. When people complimented me, I would make self-deprecating jokes and brush off the compliments until someone told me, “Pam, don’t put yourself down. Just say thank you when someone praises you and enjoy the moment!” I agree with that wholeheartedly.
Remember that we are all screwed up to some extent; every one of us! Learn to love yourself because if you don’t, no one else will, or if you don’t, how can others love you?
3. You need to earn your confidence.
The key here is to earn. I’ve realized that to overcome imposter syndrome. You need to be confident. Confidence, in general, doesn’t come naturally to most of us. You need to earn it. One way to gain confidence is to be very, very good at something that people will ask you for advice about. When you see people respect and appreciate your recommendations and ideas, you’ll feel like, “huh, I’m pretty good.” And that’s a good way to build confidence over time.
For me becoming an independent consultant and a speaker has helped me tremendously. I mean, tremendously to build my confidence. When I tell people I didn’t usually speak up at any meetings for like 10, 15 years and was very, very shy, nobody, nobody would believe that they were like, “Pam, you shy? No, it doesn’t compute.”
I become more confident by slowly building my B2B marketing expertise and know-how. Once you have a skill set that you can use to help others, you start tapping into your full potential. You become unique, and you become you.
4. Never stop learning AND exercise.
Another way to overcome imposter syndrome is to keep on learning and exercising. You continue to enrich your mind and your wellbeing. If you feel good about yourself mentally and physically, you start liking yourself. When you start liking yourself and have a unique skill set you can call your own, you start recognizing your worthiness. If you realize how good you are, you want to be you, not someone else!
Bear in mind that Imposter Syndrome comes and goes.
It will never completely go away. And that’s just part of being human or being alive; there will always be moments when you will think the grass on the other side is greener. When you have these thoughts, you need to turn the “love yourself switch” on and tell yourself that you are worth it. Don’t be shy. Say that out loud.
A quick recap. Here are my four top tips to overcome imposter syndrome.
- Don’t believe all the wonderful photos that people post on social media. It doesn’t mean their lives are perfect.
- Learn to love yourself. If you don’t, it’s harder for others to love you
- Earn your confidence by being very, very good at something. Anything.
- Continue to learn and exercise.
Earlier in the episode, I mentioned that when I was growing up, I wanted to be someone else. I think that had a lot to do with I didn’t like myself, and I didn’t think I was good enough. And I learned to love myself in my late thirties. Seriously! Can you imagine not liking yourself for 30 years? So don’t do that to yourself. It’s torture.
I gained confidence when I started to be good at something. Then in the past 10 or 15 years, I also learned to take care of myself by managing my stress, even though I work long, long, long hours. And I do yoga every day, and it helps tremendously. I’ve slowly realized I’m pretty good the way I am.
Maybe that realization also comes with aging. When you start getting older, you’re like, “ah, I don’t care.”
So how do you overcome Imposter Syndrome?
I’d love to hear from you and if you like my podcast, feel free to subscribe on your favorite listening platforms. Take care. Bye-bye.